[ It's almost just like time hadn't passed. The awkward dance from before seems to have faded. Jitters and fear no longer seem to be swimming around the two of them. They've gotten through some of the scariest moments. There's still a lot of explaining left for Steve to do and he knows he can't avoid it forever. Peggy is understanding and aware of how strangers things can get, but she won't accept what he's saying forever. He wouldn't expect her to though. That's just how Peggy is. She'll eventually dig the truth out of Steve and that's when things will get infinitely more complicated for them and everyone else who will become involved. But for now some unimportant truths were skirted and the important things are known.
Understanding that time passed, but the feelings never truly went away was the most important thing to settle. Neither was sure of how the other felt after what happened. More time has passed for Steve, but he was unaware for quite a large chunk of it. He would argue that maybe Peggy had it harder. Seeing her on the original trip was a brutal reminder that though Steve may have been out of sight he was never out of her mind. It broke his heart to see her. It's why he was standing here in her arms. Making a complete and total ass out of himself with his dance card comment. Or at least Steve believes for the moment. She was always good at ruffling him. ]
I didn't--that wasn't what I meant. I mean of course your--[ He blows out a sigh. ]--dance card is your own. [ After a moment he takes a real honest look at her face and takes note of the small smile that he almost doesn't catch. Steve's head tilts back and he lets out a heavy sigh. He's smiling though. Because he's well aware that she's trying to mess with him. Peggy Carter doesn't miss a beat. A lot of time has passed and yet she somehow knows just what to say to leave Steve in a befuddled mess at times.
His hold on her never loosens or falls away. She knows what Steve means and she's well aware he would never infringe upon her own freedoms. She's her own woman. Always. He just full intends on her being his as well. ]
With all due respect, ma'am, you have all the authority in the world. [ He looks at her with the same sort of determination he gives most ops. ] But you were out of my arms already once before. I don't intend to let it happen a second time.
[ peggy still has questions—lots of them, questions bubbling up in the back of her throat, and questions she makes a herculean effort to keep reined. there will be time to interrogate him later. and perhaps she doesn’t think too much of whatever growth and development he may have found in the future, because she believes (whole-heartedly!) that steve rogers won’t stand a chance under one of her interrogations. just now, she swears he seems to once again be the stammering, stumbling steve that she’d gotten to know so well during the war.
—he’s still him, isn’t he? she can see it in his eyes. she can hear it in his sigh. she dares to think she can smell so when she cants her head and almost-but-not-quite nudges her nose against the reliable curve of his shoulder.
clearly, she’s got no intention of fleeing his arms and calling his bluff.
except: ]
Even so. You’ll have to let me go.
[ she parks her chin on that same shoulder—one heavy sigh seems to sell away all the tension carried in her posture. how remarkably easy, she thinks, to carve out a place for herself here—right here—fit so snugly against him. ]
The record player won’t turn itself on.
[ there’s one behind her and within steve’s sightline—it’s a lovely model, modern by the current decade’s standards, and flanked by albums. it’s the one corner in an otherwise utilitarian and sparse room that speaks to a life being lived.
even now, she sidesteps the intent of his questions, his comments, his concerns. steve pledges her a kind of togetherness and instead of facing head-on she doubles back to an earlier point: their dance. ]
[ He does have one lurking concern in the back of his mind, but for the moment he doesn't allow himself to even think of Sharon's name. He won't allow himself to think of her period. It was a long time ago and at this point she's a moot point. They will ultimately have to have that conversation though. There are a lot of conversations. One that will revolve around Tony and ultimately at some point the part that Bucky eventually plays in the demise of Howard Stark. He won't be able to tell him, will he? Things have already branched with him being here, but could he branch it even further? There are things he's curious about, but would it make things better or worse if Steve did something about them?
There's the softest groan of disapproval when Peggy insists he'll have to let her go. He wonders why for a moment, but she reveals all after a beat. The record player. The dance. The frown disappears and in place is a smile. He peeks over her to find the record player she speaks of. He could let her pull away and go handle it herself, but instead Steve is the one that releases her. He doesn't say anything as he sidesteps around her to get to the record player. Steve studies the albums before him. He plucks one free and releases the disc from it's sleeve. Up comes the players lid and he plays the record gently onto the spindle. Once the record is on the turntable he flips it on. The arm is lifted and dropped into place.
Silence no longer hangs over them as the music floods the room that they're in. Not loud or overpowering. Just enough for them to enjoy it. Steve watches her for a moment. His mind wanders and for a moment he allows himself to think about how it would have gone at the Stork Club. He wonders how she would have looked. He wonders how many times he would have stepped on her feet. Though he does know one thing. He knows that without a doubt his heart would be hammering just as fast as it is right now. He'd be just as nervous to take her hand and be able to spin her around this room.
He's learned how to dance since back then, but he imagines she'll be thankful for that. Or at least her feet will. Finally he holds out his hand for her and smiles. ] Can I finally have this dance? [ It took a long time, but it was finally happening. ]
[ it’s—unsettling. peggy is unsettled, just a little, by how he boldly takes the helm of their reunion. she may have been the one to conjure the record player’s use but he’s the one who intends to use it—circumnavigating her in her own sitting room and browsing her record collection as if it’s already half his.
peggy sets her jaw. she’s feeling frustrated and enamored and tempted all at once. hawkishly, she watches his back as he drops his chosen album into place—but by the time he turns, by the time he’s once again looking at her, she’s managed to school her face into a more curated expression. pleasant, yes, but distant—maintaining that same aloofness she’s always been careful to preserve while around him. to do anything else would mean wearing her heart on her sleeve and she’s already done far far far too much of that.
she clears her throat and eyes his waiting hand. trumpets—warm and brassy—fill the air underpinned by playful piano notes. the song is sparse yet jazzy. bright, yet measured. easy to dance to. and peggy, eyes narrowed, has to wonder whether he knew what he was doing when he selected this record. ]
I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t.
[ her answer is roundabout, sharp, and laid over a thin smile. peggy slides her hand into his and the touch sparks as if they hadn’t just already spent minutes in an embrace.
she tugs him near—close—and gives every impression that she intends to take the lead. ]
[ Once upon a time she knew a far more nervous Steve Rogers. One that did better in battle than actually talking to women. Since then though Steve's social skills have vastly improved around the opposite sex. Then again Peggy tends to bring out the nervous young man he once was at times. He does wonder what this version of her would have thought of him before the Snap. Before the Accords. There was a time after he woke up from the ice where Steve shut down. Every single part of him felt hollow and like he was sleep walking through time. He was just trying to find his place to settle. He didn't know who he was supposed to be to the world anymore. It was the farthest Steve felt from himself in a long time. But right now in this moment with her it's like none of it ever happened. The sights. The smells. The sounds. They all bring about familiarity that he so desperately had been craving.
They've always been on opposite ends of the spectrum. Steve was a man that wasn't afraid of what people thought of him. Steve wore his heart on his sleeve for some time around her. Peggy did the opposite. It's why he tried taking romantic advice from Howard Stark which in hindsight was more than likely the worst move he could have made. They've changed though. Both have hardened a bit by time though Steve feels that shell weakening bit by bit just being around her. This was all he had ever wanted for so long. To go home to her. Standing next to her he's no longer a man out of time.
Absolutely no part of Steve thought he would be taking the lead with the dance. Not at first anyways. Peggy's determined and bossy all on her own. She pushes. She doesn't expect the push back. Yet if you don't it upsets her. It's all a test. One big giant test that he's had to run through time and time again since he's known her. If you don't give just as good as you get then it's over. She pulls Steve close and he loops an arm around her waist. His hand settles on the small of her back and he looks down at her. ]
I promise I won't step on your feet.
[ Maybe some parts of him are sharper and some are just deadened, but pushing back against Peggy Carter will never be something that changes. He knows that she'll huff and puff over him taking the lead, but part of him wants to show her that he did eventually learn to dance. Time didn't completely ravage him. ]
[ she feels the warm weight of his hand on her back. it reassures her and weakens her knees all at once. perhaps she's danced a time or three since his disappearance but only rarely and never without a sense of loss settled deep in her chest. not so now: her blood's never felt brighter, happier, speeding through her veins.
peggy dispenses with most of the modesty afforded a proper dance -- leastwise what the current decade might consider proper. she fits her body to his and lays her hand on his shoulder so that it can curl ever-so-almost beneath the collar of his shirt. she holds onto him and stumbles only when he makes such an unspoken drama of contesting her lead.
she looks him in his eyes and murmurs, quiet-like: ]
And here I was still expecting I'd have to show you how.
[ her voice stretches across the words. they're sweet and they're a bit coy -- flirtatious, almost -- but they mask pain, too. they echo their darkest moments, their abortive goodbye, their poorly kept promises. peggy's head tilts as the song picks up and she clears her throat with all the impatience of someone who believes she's only humouring him his lead.
-- though it's mighty lovely to hold his hand, she thinks. ]
[ He never imagined he'd be back here like this. When he sat by her side and talked for hours when her memory was going he didn't think he'd get a chance like this. He never imagined he'd have a chance to redo what time he had lost being in the ice. He was just thankful she was even alive for him to see and speak with. The fact that she's in his arms right now and they're dancing almost feels like a dream. Something that used to happen a lot when he woke up from the ice. Before the invasion Steve was aimless and without a purpose he was left to his own devices. He'd lost so much, but he knew that the people he left behind likely felt it more. They were awake and aware. Living out the long years.
She's bossy. She's headstrong. She's stubborn. She's everything Steve fell in love with still. She constantly kept him on his toes and that just made him love her more. She was never going to take anything from anyone. Peggy Carter would always be in control. Though he fully intends to continue to fight her for control of this dance. He knows that she feels more comfortable when she has the reigns. At least it was something he'd gleaned in the time he knew her. Steve could spot little things about her, but the big picture romance was always an issue for him to decipher. Figuring out what little things meant in the long run. He may not be a Stark, but he's more than figured things out. ]
Seventy years went by. I figured if I didn't know already I had to learn soon. People were starting to talk.
[ Everything they say is just something disguised as something else entirely. Both burnt and worried about what could happen. The war pulled them apart along with a decision from Steve. Sometimes he wonders what could have been. What if he had been able to stop it? What if he got to come back to her? What if he lived his entire life in this time period? Still he's done and seen extraordinary things. He knows he can't ever replicate that. ]
But. [ He lets out almost an amused sigh and follows it with a smile. ] I'm sure there's a thing or two you could still teach me. You were always pretty good at that.
[ with her next breath — exhaled, slow and careful — she infringes further on that thin bit of space between their bodies. the music dips; she noses her face against the crook of his neck and feels his pulse hot and present against her cheek. looking him in the eyes might be lovely, yes, but so is this aggressive proximity.
he flatters her — deftly, sweetly, and with more social skill than she’d ever thought he could muster — but peggy doesn’t let her heart get off-balanced by it. the entire moment becomes less about dancing and more about reminding herself that she isn’t dreaming.
— she remains so curious about his life in the future. ]
And what did people start to say?
[ if he won’t tell her the salient facts about his discovery, his work, or his return, then perhaps she could at least learn a little about his social standing in this brave new world he’d called home in recent years. who mattered to him? what was expected of him? did anyone look out for his soul half-as-much as they looked out for his public image?
peggy thinks about the day she’d found him doodling uniformed monkeys in the rain. the memory kindles an old indignation — she feels a bit bitter and jealous of the future, of its population, and of what they might have done-said-expected of captain steve rogers while she wasn’t there to direct him. ]
[ It's the most Peggy Carter question. It's curious and light. It flows into what he had stated before, but it holds so much more meaning behind it. She's curious. She's always been inquisitive and impatient. She's the strongest woman he'll ever known and yet right now he's getting a glimpse into that vulnerability. The vulnerability that reared its ugly head when she caught Private Lorraine kissing him. It's difficult to crack into that part of Peggy because she keeps it so heavily guarded. It's probably the main reason he screwed things up so often with her. Romantically that is. He never knew which ended was up or down. He was constantly second guessing.
She's looking for a specific answer. He knows that much. She doesn't just want something half assed and reassuring. She wants some tangible thought. She wants to know who is in Steve's life. Mentioning Tony is absolutely out of the question. He doesn't know how to mention Natasha without completely revealing everything. Her death included. She was probably the leading motivation in getting Steve to learn how to dance properly. It doesn't even occur to Steve to mention the past romantic glimpse with Sharon. It was so brief and small that he doesn't think that the impact really remained. ]
You can't be Captain America and step on women's feet when you dance. It's just silly.
[ He smiles for a moment thinking back to the conversation with Natasha. It went differently and offered more blunt Natasha Romanoff honesty. He's paraphrasing. ]
One of my team members. Natasha. She said my two left feet act was getting really old. She took pity on me. I at least had rhythm. She said that made it easier.
[ It's a sad smile that takes over. Something he imagines he'll do a lot when he thinks of the ones he lost. She saved them. She made all of this possible. Him being able to even come back. ]
Sam still thinks I'm not too good at it. He just likes that he's better than me at something for once.
[ captain america. there it is—the title given to him by his country, his government, but one that she’d rarely ever used. if she called him anything, it was only ever captain rogers. or steve, in her more tender moments.
her expression crinkles, but it’s still so buried in the crook of his neck that she doubts (hopes) he doesn’t see her reproach. it’s unfair to hold him accountable for the things the world might have done or demanded of him. for example, she’d never held the uso shows against him. steve rogers had wanted to make a difference—no matter the how. doesn’t mean she didn’t leap at the chance to give him an out, an alternative, a third option. ]
Friends?
[ she asks — about as casual as she can muster. her hand tightens on his; her breath skates his adam’s apple. there’s no reason to be so possessive when she’s got him in her grip. yet here she is, holding him closer.
and, christ alive, it’s not as if she doesn’t also have friends. even if peggy would be unwilling to use the word. ]
[ He wonders if criminal would be a term better used to describe him. Especially by the government. The Snap changed everything though. At one point they were on the run and then when the world was rocked it seemed like it was easier to forgive past grievances. He earned a fair amount of goodwill after Thanos, but he knows that the government was still wary. He worries about what will happen in his absence, but he knows that the team will be able to cope. What remains of them anyways. Captain America was a symbol the government made. Steve Rogers was the man that wore the symbol. The man that was left behind when the symbol was stripped away from him by their government and a bit by Tony as well.
The question catches Steve off guard. It's an innocent question on the surface. Yet there are context clues. Ones that Steve takes into account before he answers. The biggest though is the way her grip on his hand. He can't see her face right now, but he can only imagine that it's doing it's very best to hide some sort of curious jealousy? He's not certain. His lips tug upward into a sort of lazy smile as he continues to dance with her. Steve doesn't immediately answer. Instead he lets the question hang there for an extra moment or two. She's always been very good at keeping him off balance. He'd be nice to show her that he can do the same these days. ]
As well as members of my team.
[ He does wonder who she's most curious about. Likely both. After Bucky died she suddenly was one of his closest friends on top of everything else going on between them. Someone who held the most important place in his heart and soul. It almost seems like he's not going to say anymore on the topic when he suddenly speaks once more. ]
And both interested in other people.
[ They all knew how Natasha felt about Bruce. As for Sam he's not sure, but he assumes that maybe Sam was interested in someone. He knows it wasn't him though. He figures it's wise to put her curiosity to rest early on about that. ]
[ she’s taken aback by how easily, how confidently, he clarifies his position the moment he announces it. and both interested in other people. peggy produces a quiet scoff in the back of her throat, as if she might scold him for thinking she was at all concerned, but the reality is that his admission brings with it a flush of warm relief. her possession isn’t simply a romantic one, mind, but it’s good to have certain pieces of intel out in the open.
it gives her an opportunity to decide what she might (or mightn’t) do with the information. going forward. ]
Does Howard count? [ she hums, leaning her chin on his shoulder. ] Until today, I’d have thought I was likely the only one in the whole world who’d call him a friend.
[ but now steve’s back. oh, heavens, steve’s back. ]
And I keep in touch with Dugan. The lads.
[ but what about all the others? the friends he doesn’t know about? the friends she’d not met until after she’d already lost him, and the woman they’d grown close to was that hard-shelled and grief-stricken professional who hadn’t made it easy for any of them to get near to her. ]
[ Time has passed for him. A lot of it. Confidence was always there lurking beneath the surface. It came out in battle and executing strategies about how to approach enemies, but never in his personal life. The Steve Rogers that existed behind closed doors could be awkward and a little clueless at times. Mostly about romantic matters of the heart. He tried to throw himself into situations, but they always never ended the way he wanted. Usually whatever was there fizzled out because Steve focused too much on SHIELD and all the things that came with throwing himself back into work. SHIELD offered order to the chaos that was Steve's heart and soul after he woke up from the ice. There was uncertainty and lies, but for a time it kept him grounded.
Beyond the friends he made "on the job" it was rare for Steve to make one organically unless you counted Sam. Then again that went from normal to "work friends" very quickly when Steve was forced to pull the man into his own issues. It's why he smiles when she asks if Howard counts as a friend. He would think so. All of his are in the same sort of group as Howard. Other than Bucky of course, but that was a friendship formed in another time period. ] Howard counts. The last friend I made outside of all of this was Buck. Hard to trust people outside of this circle.
[ The one created through their job. It makes Steve smile to hear her mention Dugan. The team. The Howling Commandos. They were people he tried to find when he woke up from the ice. He sifted through dossier after dossier to learn about what happened to his friends he had left behind. Or rather had outlived. He didn't simply catapult into the future. He slept through it. The idea still does things to him deep down.
Steve tries to keep his body from tensing up when she says Mister Jarvis. JARVIS had been Tony's AI and then he was Vision. Unfortunately for as well equipped as Steve has become he still has a big mouth that reacts before his brain can tell it not to. ]
[ their dance evolves into a comfortable, close-bodied sway. once upon a time, she might have fantasized about clean lines and precise dance moves—but this is a more than appropriate substitute, she thinks, as she cozies her chin against his shoulder and feels the rumble of his voice.
hard to trust people outside of this circle, steve says, and silently she acknowledges that he’s right. even when she’s got every reason to trust someone, even someone within her circle, she struggles. it’s not always that she distrusts their motives; sometimes it’s as simple as distrusting someone’s ability to navigate the shadowed, dangerous vocation to which she’s committed herself.
these thoughts are swirling in her head when she senses how steve stiffens. her body language reacts to his—and she has to wonder what she’s said that’s had such an effect. ]
—What do you mean. Designed?
[ it’s not quite a question. she frowns into his collar, but doesn’t yet raise her head from his shoulder. ]
[ He wanted to avoid the mention of Tony entirely until he could properly figure out how to explain what would happen to Howard in the future. He's not sure how to truly do so without explaining what happened with Bucky and how murdered one of their close friends many years into the future. The simply idea that Howard settled down with one woman for long enough to procreate would leave her surprised given the Howard that they knew once upon a time. The similarities between Howard and Tony have always left Steve silently amused. She would ask for details at some point and explaining the death of Tony would hurt once more. He'd have no choice, but to tell Howard all of this now. Peggy wouldn't let it remain in a vault.
There's a silence that hangs over them as Steve struggles to find words. Not so much words in general, but the right ones. He can't lie. He can't brush this under the rug. She's never simply ignored a statement and then let it completely go when anyone urged her to. Peggy Carter is stubborn. One of the many things he loves about her. ]
There was an AI system designed in the future. They called it JARVIS.
[ He can only assume that it was designed after the man she mentioned. Maybe he can't sweep this under the rug, but maybe he can delay the inevitable explanation. He can skirt around with vague explanations without specific names. He hadn't mentioned Tony or Howard. He just responded to the name Jarvis. Not the most damning piece of evidence ever discovered. Then again delaying the inevitable only means that once she discovers or hears the truth she'll be angry. An angry Peggy Carter will only make matters that much worse.
Steve doesn't pull away from her as he sways. He's hoping that this will at least soften any and all anger she might drudge up. ]
Tony Stark called it JARVIS.
[ She's smart. She doesn't need him to say who his father is. ]
[ at first, he may as well have been talking in ciphers. ai system? it? her brow furrows; she retreats a step, breaks their dance, but doesn’t let go of his wrists. what the devil is he on about. ]
Now you truly do need to start at the beginning.
[ peggy’s insistence seems to rumble—even as her voice doesn’t. the horn music softens behind them. she can barely remember where they are on the record. does it matter?
tony stark, he says. not howard. her face screws up into a frown. ]
Howard’s son. Built a — system. And named it after Mister Jarvis.
[ it’s the natural conclusion. and it’s quicker, more efficient, to ask him outright than to merely ask who tony is.
[ He's thankful that she gets there on her own. Peggy's smart though. She wouldn't need much. JARVIS was always a unique name. It always felt similar to how someone described SHIELD to him. An acronym that was already picked and then the words chosen to correspond with that. He never asked though. Tony likely wouldn't have given him a very straight answer. Looking it up would have been easy, but Steve didn't want to be that in the man's business simply based on a quiet hunch. Now that he has some sort of confirmation though about the man and his obvious influence in Howard Stark's son's life. It actually makes Steve just smile when Peggy repeats what he had said as she tries to get it straight.
There's a nod as he answers her. Waiting for anymore questions that she might pose. He hopes she doesn't ask him about his current state back in that time. Telling her about Tony's death would be too much. He didn't want to lie to her, but it would probably be the only thing he could do. Just to spare her in this moment. To find out that Howard had a son and then to learn of his cruel fate. She would have been so very proud though. ]
Never got a chance. Think he passed before I woke up from the ice. I guess he was a pretty big influence in Tony's life.
[ Given Howard and Maria's deaths. ]
Enough for him to make an AI system and name it entirely after him. [ Steve takes a deep breath. ] You're still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Howard procreated willingly huh?
[ think he passed before i woke up from the ice, says steve, and for peggy it's a tough sentence to hear. it stands to reason—naturally—that those alive and thriving in this decade mightn't make it oh-so-far. mister jarvis, already older than her by a small jaunt, would be...
well. she does the math and her frown deepens. as much as she'd like to stop and sing the man's praises from dawn till dusk, discussing edwin jarvis will simply have to wait. steve conjures the other unsaid thing. ]
It's—surprising. I'll grant you that. Not that I didn't already assume he must already have his fair share of wild oats planted all over the developed world.
[ no, what's surprising is that this is a son with howard's name. a legitimate son. ]
[ Most of the people Steve once knew had died before he woke up from the ice. Everything Steve knew had been shaken up when he woke up to a time that didn't truly need him anymore. He can understand that it would be difficult for her to hear such a thing. Right now at this point in her life this Mister Jarvis is probably still young. At the very least he isn't close to passing on. To actually have to think about a time when she might lose a friend is painful for anyone. He doesn't know how to help with that though. He doesn't know how to help her. He doesn't know how to ease any sort of sadness that could potentially be lurking about. He does suddenly wish he hadn't even mentioned Tony to spare her the thought of her friend passing on. ]
As far as I know Tony's the only one out there. I guess he's been a little more responsible than we assumed.
[ Steve hadn't known Howard as long as Peggy, but he knows the man could charm a woman. Mostly. He can recall a time when he believed Peggy and Howard had been fonduing. The memory is a fond one even if it had been accompanied by some chaos at the time. They were at war, but the connections were deep. Maybe Ultron had been right all along. He was just a man out of time. Treading water until he could get back to where he wanted to be.
The question is a tough one. Because he has to watch what he says. He can't let her know he's deceased. He can't talk about him like he's already gone. He needs to remember that Peggy doesn't need to be burdened with that sort of news. Neither does Howard. At least not at first. ]
A lot like Howard. [ He smiles. ] Smart. Probably the smartest guy I know. [ Don't tell Bruce or Howard. ] Married. He has a little girl. [ He'd only met her a few times now. ] He's on my team. Howard woulda been pretty proud.
four words, but they speak volumes. howard is himself a man of voluminous character—capable of inspiring her and igniting her depending on what comes out of her mouth. and to think he’s got a son (will have a son) so very apparently like him. it helps peggy begin to conceptualize the circle with which steve might have surrounded himself. strong, powerful personalities. sharp, determined minds.
she smiles—feeling a warm odd burst in her nerves at the idea of her dear friend starting a family. already, she wants to spoil the little bugger. hop him up on sweets and send him back to his father liable to bounce off the walls. ]
That can’t be coincidence. [ can it? ] Howard’s son, finding his way to your team. Who sought out who?
[ He knows through files that she'll eventually meet Hank Pym. He doesn't have the exact date, but he's grown familiar with Scott's people after meeting him. There's so many people he could tell her about. Wanda. Vision. Thor. Bruce. Sam. Even Bucky. There's just so many, but he figures it would just overload her. He decides to focus in on Tony. He's the most important. As far as he could tell she did exactly what she wanted. She spoiled him. Throughout the years Peggy still remained Howard's closest friend other than Mister Jarvis. At least that's how he read the files. They worked alongside one for ages. Steve found a sort of comfort in knowing they had that.
There's a hint of a smile and he shrugs his shoulders. ] Not sure about coincidence. But he was technically more involved with SHIELD before I even was thawed out. We didn't get along immediately. But I can safely say that he's one of my best friends now. [ Right alongside with Sam and Bucky of course. Natasha as well. ] He made these suits of armor. About as high tech as they come. They were something to say. [ At this point Tony's suits are just something Steve's grown used to, but he knows that if Peggy were to see one it'd be another story. Which is why he makes certain to talk to them up. They're important. ]
He created an AI interface to help him. His name was JARVIS. I think Tony sid him and JARVIS were the ones to create the suit. The first fully functioning one. [ Not counting the one he built in the cave. ] So, I guess you can kinda give credit to your Mister Jarvis as well. He was guiding Tony well after he was gone.
[ there are traps, pitfalls, and aching background pieces to this story that she knows—but wonders whether steve knows, too. he articulates how mister jarvis might have guided tony, and the bottom of peggy’s stomach drops. she knows what happened to ana; she knows how desperately the jarvises wanted children but couldn’t have any of their own. how they both must have doted on howard’s son.
all the hungarian goulash he could ever want!
she inhales and steels herself against the thought of jarvis’s death, pivoting all her attention into what thin crumbs steve does share with her. tony had been an active participant in shield—and she isn’t surprised. it’s good, she thinks, that it becomes a testing ground for genius and innovation. security, certainly, but also celebration. the very imagining of tony’s briefly described suits sounds like something out of jules verne or h. g. wells. ]
Who else?
[ curiosity seizes her, now. she takes steve by his hand and leads him to the loveseat sofa. the record plays on, yes, but now she wants to sit knee-to-knee and hear everything. ]
[ All Steve knows is the little bits that Tony's shared with the group and what he got from the files he looked over before he even agreed to working with SHIELD. Back when he was still trying to piece everything together. His life mostly. She doesn't need to know how Howard and Maria died. She doesn't need to know that HYDRA sent Bucky after them. Not yet anyways. He'll tell her, but dumping all of it into her lap right now seems cruel. It's not like either of them can act on the information entirely. They have more than enough time to do something if she does somehow convince Steve to alter these things. The changes will create a branch off, but him staying here has already done that in a way.
Who else? That's a loaded question. She takes him by the hand and moves him to the sofa once more. The music plays on, but he can hardly pay it any attention right now. Not when she wants to know things. It's a lot to take in. The team. He's not sure if he should tell her about everyone, but he can tell her about the ones that might interest her. Once they're settled he smiles at her. ] Team's kind of got a revolving door in a way. It can change. [ People come and go. They fall in battle. He's still not certain how he'll begin to tell her about the death of Tony in the future. It's best she knows just the good for the moment. ]
Thor's from Asgard. In uh--[ He looks upward briefly. ]--space. [ His hammer is stashed on the block for now. He didn't think he could go walking around with it in his hands. ] Nat and Clint were members of SHIELD long before they ever brought together the Avengers. As for Bruce--he was trying to recreate what they did to me. Things went south and he was exposed to pretty high levels of gamma radiation. After that he got some abilities. [ It's very difficult to explain the Hulk especially considering how far Bruce and his other side have come. ] That was pretty much the first bunch though. Of the team.
[ under different circumstances, the moment would have been tender. romantic. her fingers, tangled in his, and their knees bumping as they sit so close on her sofa that they might as well still be dancing for all the space between them. her thumb catches on the architecture of his wrist; she learns it, slow and eager, even as she learns about so much else. ]
Abilities.
[ she echoes the word, head tilted in curiosity. it’s a broad word. one might argue that any old person has got abilities of one sort or another. her ability to crack a russian one-pad in under five minutes might be considered remarkable in its own right. but the way steve says it, she imagines he must be speaking of a whole different scope. ]
How many of your—[ a pause, a winkle of her nose ]—Avengers have abilities?
[ For a long time it was only him and the Red Skull with some sort of abilities. All from the super soldier serum though. It was difficult for him to learn these things in such rapid succession when he woke up from the ice. He's not even sure how to explain Wanda's abilities because to be honest he doesn't understand them completely. He wonders if she does. But at the same time Steve isn't scared. The unknown isn't scary in that sense. She could probably do more damage out of all of them, but it doesn't matter. Because he knows the person. Just like he knows Thor. He knows Carol. He knows Bruce. Fear can make you do funny things if you let it. ]
These days? More than a few. Some didn't quite make it though.
[ Vision is gone. Pietro as well. ]
Five not including myself. Some people are just extraordinary. Others have suits that let them do things. Special things.
[ He decides explaining Rocket would be just too complicated. It's not a really easy thing for him to even explain because Rocket doesn't share everything. Just what you need to know. ]
SHIELD founded the Avengers. You would be pretty proud of it. It's brought a lot of amazing people together. People that consider each other family.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Understanding that time passed, but the feelings never truly went away was the most important thing to settle. Neither was sure of how the other felt after what happened. More time has passed for Steve, but he was unaware for quite a large chunk of it. He would argue that maybe Peggy had it harder. Seeing her on the original trip was a brutal reminder that though Steve may have been out of sight he was never out of her mind. It broke his heart to see her. It's why he was standing here in her arms. Making a complete and total ass out of himself with his dance card comment. Or at least Steve believes for the moment. She was always good at ruffling him. ]
I didn't--that wasn't what I meant. I mean of course your--[ He blows out a sigh. ]--dance card is your own. [ After a moment he takes a real honest look at her face and takes note of the small smile that he almost doesn't catch. Steve's head tilts back and he lets out a heavy sigh. He's smiling though. Because he's well aware that she's trying to mess with him. Peggy Carter doesn't miss a beat. A lot of time has passed and yet she somehow knows just what to say to leave Steve in a befuddled mess at times.
His hold on her never loosens or falls away. She knows what Steve means and she's well aware he would never infringe upon her own freedoms. She's her own woman. Always. He just full intends on her being his as well. ]
With all due respect, ma'am, you have all the authority in the world. [ He looks at her with the same sort of determination he gives most ops. ] But you were out of my arms already once before. I don't intend to let it happen a second time.
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—he’s still him, isn’t he? she can see it in his eyes. she can hear it in his sigh. she dares to think she can smell so when she cants her head and almost-but-not-quite nudges her nose against the reliable curve of his shoulder.
clearly, she’s got no intention of fleeing his arms and calling his bluff.
except: ]
Even so. You’ll have to let me go.
[ she parks her chin on that same shoulder—one heavy sigh seems to sell away all the tension carried in her posture. how remarkably easy, she thinks, to carve out a place for herself here—right here—fit so snugly against him. ]
The record player won’t turn itself on.
[ there’s one behind her and within steve’s sightline—it’s a lovely model, modern by the current decade’s standards, and flanked by albums. it’s the one corner in an otherwise utilitarian and sparse room that speaks to a life being lived.
even now, she sidesteps the intent of his questions, his comments, his concerns. steve pledges her a kind of togetherness and instead of facing head-on she doubles back to an earlier point: their dance. ]
i now know too many things about record players
There's the softest groan of disapproval when Peggy insists he'll have to let her go. He wonders why for a moment, but she reveals all after a beat. The record player. The dance. The frown disappears and in place is a smile. He peeks over her to find the record player she speaks of. He could let her pull away and go handle it herself, but instead Steve is the one that releases her. He doesn't say anything as he sidesteps around her to get to the record player. Steve studies the albums before him. He plucks one free and releases the disc from it's sleeve. Up comes the players lid and he plays the record gently onto the spindle. Once the record is on the turntable he flips it on. The arm is lifted and dropped into place.
Silence no longer hangs over them as the music floods the room that they're in. Not loud or overpowering. Just enough for them to enjoy it. Steve watches her for a moment. His mind wanders and for a moment he allows himself to think about how it would have gone at the Stork Club. He wonders how she would have looked. He wonders how many times he would have stepped on her feet. Though he does know one thing. He knows that without a doubt his heart would be hammering just as fast as it is right now. He'd be just as nervous to take her hand and be able to spin her around this room.
He's learned how to dance since back then, but he imagines she'll be thankful for that. Or at least her feet will. Finally he holds out his hand for her and smiles. ] Can I finally have this dance? [ It took a long time, but it was finally happening. ]
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peggy sets her jaw. she’s feeling frustrated and enamored and tempted all at once. hawkishly, she watches his back as he drops his chosen album into place—but by the time he turns, by the time he’s once again looking at her, she’s managed to school her face into a more curated expression. pleasant, yes, but distant—maintaining that same aloofness she’s always been careful to preserve while around him. to do anything else would mean wearing her heart on her sleeve and she’s already done far far far too much of that.
she clears her throat and eyes his waiting hand. trumpets—warm and brassy—fill the air underpinned by playful piano notes. the song is sparse yet jazzy. bright, yet measured. easy to dance to. and peggy, eyes narrowed, has to wonder whether he knew what he was doing when he selected this record. ]
I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t.
[ her answer is roundabout, sharp, and laid over a thin smile. peggy slides her hand into his and the touch sparks as if they hadn’t just already spent minutes in an embrace.
she tugs him near—close—and gives every impression that she intends to take the lead. ]
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They've always been on opposite ends of the spectrum. Steve was a man that wasn't afraid of what people thought of him. Steve wore his heart on his sleeve for some time around her. Peggy did the opposite. It's why he tried taking romantic advice from Howard Stark which in hindsight was more than likely the worst move he could have made. They've changed though. Both have hardened a bit by time though Steve feels that shell weakening bit by bit just being around her. This was all he had ever wanted for so long. To go home to her. Standing next to her he's no longer a man out of time.
Absolutely no part of Steve thought he would be taking the lead with the dance. Not at first anyways. Peggy's determined and bossy all on her own. She pushes. She doesn't expect the push back. Yet if you don't it upsets her. It's all a test. One big giant test that he's had to run through time and time again since he's known her. If you don't give just as good as you get then it's over. She pulls Steve close and he loops an arm around her waist. His hand settles on the small of her back and he looks down at her. ]
I promise I won't step on your feet.
[ Maybe some parts of him are sharper and some are just deadened, but pushing back against Peggy Carter will never be something that changes. He knows that she'll huff and puff over him taking the lead, but part of him wants to show her that he did eventually learn to dance. Time didn't completely ravage him. ]
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peggy dispenses with most of the modesty afforded a proper dance -- leastwise what the current decade might consider proper. she fits her body to his and lays her hand on his shoulder so that it can curl ever-so-almost beneath the collar of his shirt. she holds onto him and stumbles only when he makes such an unspoken drama of contesting her lead.
she looks him in his eyes and murmurs, quiet-like: ]
And here I was still expecting I'd have to show you how.
[ her voice stretches across the words. they're sweet and they're a bit coy -- flirtatious, almost -- but they mask pain, too. they echo their darkest moments, their abortive goodbye, their poorly kept promises. peggy's head tilts as the song picks up and she clears her throat with all the impatience of someone who believes she's only humouring him his lead.
-- though it's mighty lovely to hold his hand, she thinks. ]
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She's bossy. She's headstrong. She's stubborn. She's everything Steve fell in love with still. She constantly kept him on his toes and that just made him love her more. She was never going to take anything from anyone. Peggy Carter would always be in control. Though he fully intends to continue to fight her for control of this dance. He knows that she feels more comfortable when she has the reigns. At least it was something he'd gleaned in the time he knew her. Steve could spot little things about her, but the big picture romance was always an issue for him to decipher. Figuring out what little things meant in the long run. He may not be a Stark, but he's more than figured things out. ]
Seventy years went by. I figured if I didn't know already I had to learn soon. People were starting to talk.
[ Everything they say is just something disguised as something else entirely. Both burnt and worried about what could happen. The war pulled them apart along with a decision from Steve. Sometimes he wonders what could have been. What if he had been able to stop it? What if he got to come back to her? What if he lived his entire life in this time period? Still he's done and seen extraordinary things. He knows he can't ever replicate that. ]
But. [ He lets out almost an amused sigh and follows it with a smile. ] I'm sure there's a thing or two you could still teach me. You were always pretty good at that.
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he flatters her — deftly, sweetly, and with more social skill than she’d ever thought he could muster — but peggy doesn’t let her heart get off-balanced by it. the entire moment becomes less about dancing and more about reminding herself that she isn’t dreaming.
— she remains so curious about his life in the future. ]
And what did people start to say?
[ if he won’t tell her the salient facts about his discovery, his work, or his return, then perhaps she could at least learn a little about his social standing in this brave new world he’d called home in recent years. who mattered to him? what was expected of him? did anyone look out for his soul half-as-much as they looked out for his public image?
peggy thinks about the day she’d found him doodling uniformed monkeys in the rain. the memory kindles an old indignation — she feels a bit bitter and jealous of the future, of its population, and of what they might have done-said-expected of captain steve rogers while she wasn’t there to direct him. ]
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She's looking for a specific answer. He knows that much. She doesn't just want something half assed and reassuring. She wants some tangible thought. She wants to know who is in Steve's life. Mentioning Tony is absolutely out of the question. He doesn't know how to mention Natasha without completely revealing everything. Her death included. She was probably the leading motivation in getting Steve to learn how to dance properly. It doesn't even occur to Steve to mention the past romantic glimpse with Sharon. It was so brief and small that he doesn't think that the impact really remained. ]
You can't be Captain America and step on women's feet when you dance. It's just silly.
[ He smiles for a moment thinking back to the conversation with Natasha. It went differently and offered more blunt Natasha Romanoff honesty. He's paraphrasing. ]
One of my team members. Natasha. She said my two left feet act was getting really old. She took pity on me. I at least had rhythm. She said that made it easier.
[ It's a sad smile that takes over. Something he imagines he'll do a lot when he thinks of the ones he lost. She saved them. She made all of this possible. Him being able to even come back. ]
Sam still thinks I'm not too good at it. He just likes that he's better than me at something for once.
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her expression crinkles, but it’s still so buried in the crook of his neck that she doubts (hopes) he doesn’t see her reproach. it’s unfair to hold him accountable for the things the world might have done or demanded of him. for example, she’d never held the uso shows against him. steve rogers had wanted to make a difference—no matter the how. doesn’t mean she didn’t leap at the chance to give him an out, an alternative, a third option. ]
Friends?
[ she asks — about as casual as she can muster. her hand tightens on his; her breath skates his adam’s apple. there’s no reason to be so possessive when she’s got him in her grip. yet here she is, holding him closer.
and, christ alive, it’s not as if she doesn’t also have friends. even if peggy would be unwilling to use the word. ]
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The question catches Steve off guard. It's an innocent question on the surface. Yet there are context clues. Ones that Steve takes into account before he answers. The biggest though is the way her grip on his hand. He can't see her face right now, but he can only imagine that it's doing it's very best to hide some sort of curious jealousy? He's not certain. His lips tug upward into a sort of lazy smile as he continues to dance with her. Steve doesn't immediately answer. Instead he lets the question hang there for an extra moment or two. She's always been very good at keeping him off balance. He'd be nice to show her that he can do the same these days. ]
As well as members of my team.
[ He does wonder who she's most curious about. Likely both. After Bucky died she suddenly was one of his closest friends on top of everything else going on between them. Someone who held the most important place in his heart and soul. It almost seems like he's not going to say anymore on the topic when he suddenly speaks once more. ]
And both interested in other people.
[ They all knew how Natasha felt about Bruce. As for Sam he's not sure, but he assumes that maybe Sam was interested in someone. He knows it wasn't him though. He figures it's wise to put her curiosity to rest early on about that. ]
What about you? You have any friends?
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it gives her an opportunity to decide what she might (or mightn’t) do with the information. going forward. ]
Does Howard count? [ she hums, leaning her chin on his shoulder. ] Until today, I’d have thought I was likely the only one in the whole world who’d call him a friend.
[ but now steve’s back. oh, heavens, steve’s back. ]
And I keep in touch with Dugan. The lads.
[ but what about all the others? the friends he doesn’t know about? the friends she’d not met until after she’d already lost him, and the woman they’d grown close to was that hard-shelled and grief-stricken professional who hadn’t made it easy for any of them to get near to her. ]
Mister Jarvis will simply adore meeting you.
[ there. she’ll start there. ]
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Beyond the friends he made "on the job" it was rare for Steve to make one organically unless you counted Sam. Then again that went from normal to "work friends" very quickly when Steve was forced to pull the man into his own issues. It's why he smiles when she asks if Howard counts as a friend. He would think so. All of his are in the same sort of group as Howard. Other than Bucky of course, but that was a friendship formed in another time period. ] Howard counts. The last friend I made outside of all of this was Buck. Hard to trust people outside of this circle.
[ The one created through their job. It makes Steve smile to hear her mention Dugan. The team. The Howling Commandos. They were people he tried to find when he woke up from the ice. He sifted through dossier after dossier to learn about what happened to his friends he had left behind. Or rather had outlived. He didn't simply catapult into the future. He slept through it. The idea still does things to him deep down.
Steve tries to keep his body from tensing up when she says Mister Jarvis. JARVIS had been Tony's AI and then he was Vision. Unfortunately for as well equipped as Steve has become he still has a big mouth that reacts before his brain can tell it not to. ]
That's who JARVIS was designed after.
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hard to trust people outside of this circle, steve says, and silently she acknowledges that he’s right. even when she’s got every reason to trust someone, even someone within her circle, she struggles. it’s not always that she distrusts their motives; sometimes it’s as simple as distrusting someone’s ability to navigate the shadowed, dangerous vocation to which she’s committed herself.
these thoughts are swirling in her head when she senses how steve stiffens. her body language reacts to his—and she has to wonder what she’s said that’s had such an effect. ]
—What do you mean. Designed?
[ it’s not quite a question. she frowns into his collar, but doesn’t yet raise her head from his shoulder. ]
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There's a silence that hangs over them as Steve struggles to find words. Not so much words in general, but the right ones. He can't lie. He can't brush this under the rug. She's never simply ignored a statement and then let it completely go when anyone urged her to. Peggy Carter is stubborn. One of the many things he loves about her. ]
There was an AI system designed in the future. They called it JARVIS.
[ He can only assume that it was designed after the man she mentioned. Maybe he can't sweep this under the rug, but maybe he can delay the inevitable explanation. He can skirt around with vague explanations without specific names. He hadn't mentioned Tony or Howard. He just responded to the name Jarvis. Not the most damning piece of evidence ever discovered. Then again delaying the inevitable only means that once she discovers or hears the truth she'll be angry. An angry Peggy Carter will only make matters that much worse.
Steve doesn't pull away from her as he sways. He's hoping that this will at least soften any and all anger she might drudge up. ]
Tony Stark called it JARVIS.
[ She's smart. She doesn't need him to say who his father is. ]
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Now you truly do need to start at the beginning.
[ peggy’s insistence seems to rumble—even as her voice doesn’t. the horn music softens behind them. she can barely remember where they are on the record. does it matter?
tony stark, he says. not howard. her face screws up into a frown. ]
Howard’s son. Built a — system. And named it after Mister Jarvis.
[ it’s the natural conclusion. and it’s quicker, more efficient, to ask him outright than to merely ask who tony is.
cocking her head, peggy speaks again: ]
Do you know who Jarvis is?
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There's a nod as he answers her. Waiting for anymore questions that she might pose. He hopes she doesn't ask him about his current state back in that time. Telling her about Tony's death would be too much. He didn't want to lie to her, but it would probably be the only thing he could do. Just to spare her in this moment. To find out that Howard had a son and then to learn of his cruel fate. She would have been so very proud though. ]
Never got a chance. Think he passed before I woke up from the ice. I guess he was a pretty big influence in Tony's life.
[ Given Howard and Maria's deaths. ]
Enough for him to make an AI system and name it entirely after him. [ Steve takes a deep breath. ] You're still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Howard procreated willingly huh?
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well. she does the math and her frown deepens. as much as she'd like to stop and sing the man's praises from dawn till dusk, discussing edwin jarvis will simply have to wait. steve conjures the other unsaid thing. ]
It's—surprising. I'll grant you that. Not that I didn't already assume he must already have his fair share of wild oats planted all over the developed world.
[ no, what's surprising is that this is a son with howard's name. a legitimate son. ]
What's he like?
[ the question can't be helped. ]
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As far as I know Tony's the only one out there. I guess he's been a little more responsible than we assumed.
[ Steve hadn't known Howard as long as Peggy, but he knows the man could charm a woman. Mostly. He can recall a time when he believed Peggy and Howard had been fonduing. The memory is a fond one even if it had been accompanied by some chaos at the time. They were at war, but the connections were deep. Maybe Ultron had been right all along. He was just a man out of time. Treading water until he could get back to where he wanted to be.
The question is a tough one. Because he has to watch what he says. He can't let her know he's deceased. He can't talk about him like he's already gone. He needs to remember that Peggy doesn't need to be burdened with that sort of news. Neither does Howard. At least not at first. ]
A lot like Howard. [ He smiles. ] Smart. Probably the smartest guy I know. [ Don't tell Bruce or Howard. ] Married. He has a little girl. [ He'd only met her a few times now. ] He's on my team. Howard woulda been pretty proud.
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four words, but they speak volumes. howard is himself a man of voluminous character—capable of inspiring her and igniting her depending on what comes out of her mouth. and to think he’s got a son (will have a son) so very apparently like him. it helps peggy begin to conceptualize the circle with which steve might have surrounded himself. strong, powerful personalities. sharp, determined minds.
she smiles—feeling a warm odd burst in her nerves at the idea of her dear friend starting a family. already, she wants to spoil the little bugger. hop him up on sweets and send him back to his father liable to bounce off the walls. ]
That can’t be coincidence. [ can it? ] Howard’s son, finding his way to your team. Who sought out who?
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There's a hint of a smile and he shrugs his shoulders. ] Not sure about coincidence. But he was technically more involved with SHIELD before I even was thawed out. We didn't get along immediately. But I can safely say that he's one of my best friends now. [ Right alongside with Sam and Bucky of course. Natasha as well. ] He made these suits of armor. About as high tech as they come. They were something to say. [ At this point Tony's suits are just something Steve's grown used to, but he knows that if Peggy were to see one it'd be another story. Which is why he makes certain to talk to them up. They're important. ]
He created an AI interface to help him. His name was JARVIS. I think Tony sid him and JARVIS were the ones to create the suit. The first fully functioning one. [ Not counting the one he built in the cave. ] So, I guess you can kinda give credit to your Mister Jarvis as well. He was guiding Tony well after he was gone.
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all the hungarian goulash he could ever want!
she inhales and steels herself against the thought of jarvis’s death, pivoting all her attention into what thin crumbs steve does share with her. tony had been an active participant in shield—and she isn’t surprised. it’s good, she thinks, that it becomes a testing ground for genius and innovation. security, certainly, but also celebration. the very imagining of tony’s briefly described suits sounds like something out of jules verne or h. g. wells. ]
Who else?
[ curiosity seizes her, now. she takes steve by his hand and leads him to the loveseat sofa. the record plays on, yes, but now she wants to sit knee-to-knee and hear everything. ]
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Who else? That's a loaded question. She takes him by the hand and moves him to the sofa once more. The music plays on, but he can hardly pay it any attention right now. Not when she wants to know things. It's a lot to take in. The team. He's not sure if he should tell her about everyone, but he can tell her about the ones that might interest her. Once they're settled he smiles at her. ] Team's kind of got a revolving door in a way. It can change. [ People come and go. They fall in battle. He's still not certain how he'll begin to tell her about the death of Tony in the future. It's best she knows just the good for the moment. ]
Thor's from Asgard. In uh--[ He looks upward briefly. ]--space. [ His hammer is stashed on the block for now. He didn't think he could go walking around with it in his hands. ] Nat and Clint were members of SHIELD long before they ever brought together the Avengers. As for Bruce--he was trying to recreate what they did to me. Things went south and he was exposed to pretty high levels of gamma radiation. After that he got some abilities. [ It's very difficult to explain the Hulk especially considering how far Bruce and his other side have come. ] That was pretty much the first bunch though. Of the team.
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Abilities.
[ she echoes the word, head tilted in curiosity. it’s a broad word. one might argue that any old person has got abilities of one sort or another. her ability to crack a russian one-pad in under five minutes might be considered remarkable in its own right. but the way steve says it, she imagines he must be speaking of a whole different scope. ]
How many of your—[ a pause, a winkle of her nose ]—Avengers have abilities?
[ but she commits each name to memory. ]
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These days? More than a few. Some didn't quite make it though.
[ Vision is gone. Pietro as well. ]
Five not including myself. Some people are just extraordinary. Others have suits that let them do things. Special things.
[ He decides explaining Rocket would be just too complicated. It's not a really easy thing for him to even explain because Rocket doesn't share everything. Just what you need to know. ]
SHIELD founded the Avengers. You would be pretty proud of it. It's brought a lot of amazing people together. People that consider each other family.
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